I know I’m almost two months early talking about Halloween, but I had a thought earlier that brought back repressed memories. All of my friends (and some family) have always found it odd that as long as they’ve known me (or can remember) I’ve always hated Halloween with a passion. I never really understood why myself, and as an almost teenager my friends thought it was weird that I’d pass up the chance for all this free candy. As a spoiled only-child though, I got all the candy that I ever wanted anyway, and I got to pick good stuff!

Slight segue here, I’m supposed to attend a themed party tonight and any type of themed party always discourages me from going. I equate dressing up in costume to Halloween and thus the anxiety starts cropping up. Now back on topic.

While contemplating why I actually hate halloween, I figured out that it isn’t so much the holiday part as it is the costumes and the dressing up that I hate. That’s when I started remembering being a little kid, and all the repressed memories came back. I always liked the girl costumes so much better than the ones for boys. I didn’t want to be a comic book character or a fucking Ninja Turtle, I hated those things as I child. I didn’t want to watch batman, I wanted an easy bake oven! While my parents (my mom more so than my dad) would have let me dress up as anything I wanted to be for Halloween, I would have been way to self conscious and embarrassed (even as a kid) to dress up as something “socially unacceptable”. So as a young kid I turned my anxiety about myself into a pure hatred of an innocent holiday. I’m basically the Scrooge of Halloween.

Now none of this makes much of a difference. I am still not going to dress up as a Ninja Turtle or a Princess for halloween, and I don’t think anything will change that. But it is nice to have a better understanding of why I feel the way I do. As for this party tonight, I am going as myself, nothing more nothing less, and once I’ve made my appearance I’ll most likely leave because I’ll feel uncomfortable. And if that makes the host mad, oh well. I made it clear before I don’t dress up and I didn’t have to come in the first place.

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Completely unrelated to anything else, I’ve lost six pounds in the past two weeks! I am so excited! Visually all this exercise hasn’t made for much of a change really, but I’m glad I have some noticeable results. This will only help fuel the fire. I can’t wait to start feeling even better about myself.

- Posted with my iPad

Location: Lawrenceville, GA United States

The iPad WordPress app is quite handy (as you’ve undoubtedly noticed I use it quite frequently). Unfortunately it has some bugs in it. The biggest of which for me is that it crashes every time I attempt to add an image to a post. However the iPhone app doesn’t. So usually what happens is I’ll type out a post on my iPad, save it on the server as a draft, and then open it on my phone to insert the image. Can we say pain in the ass? Never the less I still absolutely love my iPad! I really love the wallpaper I have for it (same as my phone). I only wish I could remember where I found it at. Oh well maybe one day I’ll remember.

So far the project with the hinges is progressing. Once we get a system going it will be faster (I hope). Billy bought me a present at Home Depot today, a door stop! I know what you’re thinking but I really did want it. It’s one of the magnetic ones that holds the door open. Now the cats can’t close the door in the bathroom.

We got our hair done this afternoon. Nothing special just a cut and style, but it’s always nice to see John. The other girl was there doing some girls hair and they were having the most awkward and hilarious conversation the entire time. They were making fun of all their old friends from high school and how fucked up they’ve all become. The best part though was when the stylist asked the other girl “Do you remember when I was pregnant in high school and got that abortion?” Such an odd topic to bring up in mixed company.

Anyway our day has been fairly tame today so I don’t have much to report. Billy is playing Grand Theft Auto while the paint on the hinges dries and I took this opportunity to do a short update. See you guys later!

- Posted with my iPad

Location: Lawrenceville, GA United States

I was having a really good day today. Nice workout, good lunch, went for a swim, and then worked on my tan. All in all a pretty good day.

Then this afternoon I get a call from my future employer letting me know that they’ve decided to not hire any more people this year. So they were taking back my job offer. So I just lost a job that I hadn’t even started yet! Fuck Me!!! What has me pissed the most is my very first interview was back in March, and I was offered the job in May. However they push back the start date until September 7th which I wasn’t happy about, but waiting a few months for a good guaranteed job is better than not having one at all. So now I’ve been strung along this long and right before I start they pull the plug. What the fuck am I going to do?

- Posted with my iPad

Location: Lawrenceville, GA United States

What kind of world has it become when you cant even use the word Velcro anymore. I just saw a commercial on tv for something and they referred to the Velcro as a “hook and loop” system; WTF?! Seriously Velcro, Sheetrock, Kleenex, and Ziplock should be used synonymously with all brands of the same products.

Random rant of the day.

– Posted From My iPad

Location: Lawrenceville GA, United States

I simply just can’t understand why my father loves to drive me insane. There has to be some reason why he either purposely does things, or cannot seem to “remember” not to do them. Everyday, over and over the same thing happens.

Months ago my father finally decided to sell his car. He never drove it, and the convertible top had started to leak so it had been bound to a life in the garage; of which it never moved for almost a year. He finally told me that if I could sell it I could park my car in the garage in its place (seeing as how his truck is too big to fit in the garage anyway). Months went by and no offers on the stupid car, and then finally someone bought the damn thing. Now I can park in the garage! I should be happy and ecstatic; key word being ‘should’.

Every day when my father comes home from work, he parks the behemoth of a truck right behind my car so there is no way I can leave to go anywhere. I bitch and complain constantly about it, yet every day over and over he either can’t “remember” not to, or for some reason he just has to be inconsiderate. Hearing the garage door in the afternoon, knowing its him coming home makes my blood pressure go through the roof, and I get an instant migraine from it.

I want to move, god help me I just want out. What is the point of being able to get in the garage if my car sits there for weeks because I can’t ever get it back out. I could rummage through my mom’s purse and find the other set of keys and move it (every time), or I could just park in the street (which would be stupid too). What really pisses me off is when it was the other way around; and he still drove his car. I NEVER blocked him in, I was ALWAYS courteous about it and made sure he could get out of the garage. Apparently when the shoe is on the over foot it would rather kick my ass for ‘sport’.

I think the headache pills have finally started to kick in. Ugh, he is such a jackass.

I just had to vent today, and I know I sound like a teenager, but I’m not. I’m just one of those people that when the same button gets pushed over and over and over and over again whatever miniscule “thing” it actually is turns into a BIG deal to me.

– Posted From My iPhone

Location: Lawrenceville GA, United States